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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30134643">Rants in the Night</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyoTea/pseuds/HyoTea'>HyoTea</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Insecurity, I’m sorry, past relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:55:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>901</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30134643</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyoTea/pseuds/HyoTea</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Just something I wanted to write at 2-3 AM to get my feelings out about some stuff I’ve been thinking about, went to bed, continued in the morning. This isn’t dealing with a ship directly, more of a friendship stance. Mentions of a past relationship though (nobody is specifically named as it doesn’t matter to understand the point).</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kun stopped on the edge of the carpet, his breath catching in his throat as he caught the last of the sun before it slipped beneath the horizon. He stood while images, memories, and moments flashed in his mind. Tiny glimpses into a time that he’d never get back. <br/><br/></p><p>His legs felt weak and he moved to the couch, collapsing onto it immediately and giving in to the tears. “Kun ge? Is everyth-“ Dejun cut himself off when he saw the eldest and simply rushed over. “Hey, what’s wrong? Do you want me to get the others? I shouldn’t even ask that, I’m going to get them I’ll be back,” he stated, taking off. <br/><br/></p><p>He returned with the rest of the members trailing behind him. They all circled around their leader and waited for him to say something. Sicheng, not one to initiate skinship, reached out and grabbed hold of Kun’s hand.</p><p> </p><p>”Whenever you’re ready you can tell us what’s wrong; we’ll be here,” he murmured. <br/><br/></p><p>Kun inhaled to calm himself down and get his thoughts in check. “I miss it. I miss the joy, the freedom, the love.” His voice came out soft with a hint of pain laced in every word. “If they asked again, I’d say no but I miss everything and I hate it. I don’t love them anymore—I mean, I was literally the one who ended it—but it still hurts and I just feel so guilty. They weren’t terrible, they didn’t hurt me...the complete opposite. They cared so much and I couldn’t give them that in return and I knew it. I knew I couldn’t no matter how happy they said they were with me so I let go. I let go and I haven’t regretted it because I was hurting them more by not giving them up. But it hurts to remember and I want the memories to disappear. I want to stop wishing for something like that while knowing I’ll push them away until the very end because I can’t do a relationship. I can’t love people the way others do; the expectations of a relationship are higher than what I’m comfortable with and I won’t do it.” <br/><br/></p><p>“Then don’t. It’s alright,” Ten spoke up. <br/><br/></p><p>“The only thing that matters is your happiness. If you aren’t happy, you have to leave it behind. You can’t force yourself to pursue something that makes you unhappy just because of expectations. If a person can’t respect your stances on topics, they aren't the one for you and the sooner you see it, the better. It’s okay to long for things but you can’t get locked in by it; don’t let it take hold of you because that’s when it’s hard to say goodbye.” Everyone turned to look at the youngest, taken aback by his words for a moment and Kun sent him a small smile.  <br/><br/></p><p>Yukhei took a seat next to Kun and moved him into an upright position, wrapping an arm around his friend. “We’re all here for you and we always will be. Right?” The group all nodded in response, tightening the small circle as they did so. <br/><br/></p><p>“But what do I bring? Everyone claims I’m important yet I don’t feel like it.” Frowns appeared instantaneously and Sicheng’s grip tightened on his hand. <br/><br/></p><p>“You bring so much whether you realise it or not. You’re always there for us, we can always go to you when we’re struggling, you’re brilliantly talented on stage, you know exactly what to say to cheer us up, and you put so much passion behind every single thing you do. You’re family and WayV wouldn’t be complete without you. You are like the sun for us; constantly lighting up the room when you walk in, warming us by just existing, and when you’re gone it’s cold and empty. We can’t survive if you’re not there because you are the reason we’re here. Anyone else and it wouldn’t be the same at all,” Hendery announced, staring at Kun with such a sincere look he broke down again, burying his face into Yukhei’s shoulder. <br/><br/></p><p>“You matter far more than you may think Kun ge, just remember that please.” Dejun reached over and grabbed Kun’s other hand, holding it securely in his own. <br/><br/></p><p>The rest of the members managed to find a spot where they could help bring comfort in some form; Ten sitting at his feet with a reassuring hand on his knee, Hendery placing a hand on his shoulder, Yangyang sitting on Kun’s other side and patting his back, Yukhei side-hugging him, and Dejun and Sicheng both holding his hands. They stayed like that for the rest of the night, eventually falling asleep in the positions they were in—well, except for Hendery. He moved to the floor by Ten since draping himself over the back of the couch wouldn’t be comfortable. </p>
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<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Not Actually a Chapter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I was going to add another little thing to this based off of something that happened today but, well, I started writing an actual story thing and didn’t know how to connect it to what I originally started it for so I decided to just make it a new fanfiction instead so something possibly good came out of this? Either way, thanks for reading this useless update and uh, this is still going to be for when I need to let my feelings out. <br/><br/></p>
<p>Thank you &lt;3</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>&lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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